Allow me just this one post to accomplish two entirely selfish objectives:
1. To vent about a certain vehicular practice that infuriates me
2. Enlist your helping explaining it to me.
Few things in life are more consistently infuriating then driving around. Entering into a vehicle and cruising at speeds nearing 100 mile per hour surrounded by your peers, many of whom you wouldn’t even trust your hold your hair while you vomit, is an experience that will enrage even the calmest of people now and then. Driving is one of the most direct and obvious examples of placing our lives into the hands of complete strangers on a daily basis. Because driving is so stressful and dangerous, the last thing I need is to look at obnoxious vehicles. Let me live my fantasy of believing you are a decent human being, at least up until the time you tailgate me or cut me off, there’s no need to warn me with your obnoxious vehicle that you are a Neanderthal. I prefer to be surprised.

But my calls go unheeded and unfortunately the road is full of obnoxious drivers driving their obnoxious vehicles. Included in this category are the bigger and more massive trucks and SUVs which serve no purpose but to mentally increase penis size, provide a false sense of safety, and block my view endangering my safety. Oh yeah and they may also be contributed to a really disastrous war in the Middle East.

Let us ignore those vehicles for now and focus on the primary object of my anger lately, fake police cars.

Yes, you know exactly what I am talking about. The often seen and completely baffling doctored police cars driven by normal every day people. For a long time now I have seen these things operating on the road. Almost always they make my heart skip a few beats (as it does every time I see a cop no matter what I am doing) and then it all returns to normal as I get closer and realize the driver is not wearing the signature navy blue, but is instead shirtless, sun burnt, and drinking a Pabst.

Whenever this happens I get a flash of anger because not only is it completely unnecessary for the person to have a car that is intentionally modeled after a police car, but I have always seen it as malicious. I have viewed these people as wanting to scare others, as some sort of highway prankster, receiving pleasure out of frightening speeders. However, I am not sure I am right about their intentions. Lately, I have been considering exactly why someone would make their car look like a cop car and, not knowing anyone who has actually done this, I have not been able to truly come to a conclusion. Here are the possible options that I have devised:

POSSIBLE EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHY WHY SOMEONE WOULD MAKE A FAKE POLICE CAR
1. To scare motorists.
2. To avoid being pulled over by cops.
3. As a hobby (I assume to some gear heads it might be interesting to try and acquire the proper equipment and modify the car).
4. Power trip.
5. Acting as some sort of vigilante (their extra presence as a faux-cop deters would be lawbreakers).

Personally, I have been leaning towards #4, the power trip, since it seems to be the most feasible given the trend by most obnoxious motorists to do everything they can on the road to be in a false position of power, e.g. loud mufflers, big cars, tailgating, offensive bumper stickers, bright headlights. The fake cop car could very possible just be another extension of this behavior that makes the road the premiere playground for adult aggression and immature behavior. Well, next to a heavy metal concert.

My real intention with this post, however, was to plead to the readers of The Means to put an end to my curiosity about the fake police car issue and give me a definitive answer. Does anyone out there know the reason why people do this? Has anyone, god forbid, actually done this? Anyone have any other theories about it? Please email me and let me know, I am desperate for answers.