Nothing makes me more excited than seeing great headlines in the news. This morning there were two particularly distinguished ones that immediately had me laughing and wanting more.

Police: Girl living in pet filth shoots dad in face

Catch Shark Week in the Act of Jumping Itself

I like the visuals in the first one, because being shot in the face is probably in the top three funniest ways to die. While being shot in the head implies a more calculated, precise action, I picture being shot in the face as being the result of a calamitous, fast-paced whirlwind of events that results in the shooter reverting to some primal state and shooting with reckless abandon. Once it became clear this shooter was a child covered in animal feces, I was sold instantly.

In the second headline, I was taken by the pop culture reference to “Jumping the Shark”, obviously. But speaking as a former fan of Shark Week who circa 1997 quickly recognized the commercialization the once-informative show faced once its popularity became clear, I also love the instant acknowledgement that this show has indeed become something of a shit parade of shark tales and shows with the same recycled take on these creatures.

Got any great headlines? Post them in the comments section below!